Its 10:14PM now ..
had a bad argue with her..
it is regarding my sem 2 college studies project..
CCV charity event ..
i was elected as the project manager..
if possible.. i wouldn't want to be..
I WOULD NOT !
about the reason we argue..
she is the finance leader..
her group members..
which was divided according to the class students' wish to join which department..
they dont really contribute to the tasks given..
we already had an argue about this before.. just on the day that the group members was divided..
i told her.. i will be helping her in any situation
n our frens will help as well..
i dont think i can control the class people to force them into groups as my wish..
and since the name list i already out..
any amendment will surely make noises/argue
few days ago..
i started to seek for sponsorship for this project online..
sending my proposal to several companies..
and yesterday there is a company replied me..
the company wanted an official letter and also further information..
i told her about that..
and then settle it with after dealing wif my tutor..
btw,the process was a bit tough..
quite a lot of problems i met..
filling up the template.. mistakes.. n then resend.. Zzz
working in a sick situation + under aircond is really really uncomfortable..
i got fever and headache..
but not wanted to drag the work to the next day because i dont want her to feel uneasy or unsecured on her position as the finance leader
after i settle the matter..
i continued finding for companies to send the proposal..
when i had no idea.. i pm her for any ideas..
she added me into her finance group inbox..
but there is a group member talking some bullshits..
i guess that made her irritated..
she pm me and said that.. last time she already told me about the group member problem
she said.. i told her the name list wont be troublesome to our work..
i was totally broke down..
i thought i had been working hard for it..
now we already got a reply from a company..
but i got blame now ...
this feeling just isnt good.. its bad..
i didnt request for anything in return..
but is that wat i deserved? for being blamed?
maybe.. i am not a good leader..
but i did my best to get everything done..
not only the finance group have a problem.. the promotion group did too..
the leader made a meeting and at last ended up canceling..
im not comparing or whatsoever..
but.. why do these happen on me ?
if u think im bad or nt suitable to be a leader..
u can tell me..
but now..
i tried to break to cold between us..
but she still answering me coldly..
i really got tired now..
i have no idea what should i do now..
when i tried my best to get everything done smoothly..
and there's a small achievement already..
i thought when the company replied.. it was a good start for the project.. for us..
but i got blamed..
now.. even.. she doesnt wanted to talk to me..
greatz....
maybe i deserve it ?
i am really tired now ....
there is nothing that i want to do now ..
can i get away from all these?
i dont feel like moving.. or doing anything....
im exhausted...
really tired....
can i pause my life n have a break?
is that possible ?
stress...
i think i shall stop here..
not in the situation to go on..
(to be continued......)
